How to Tell if You're a Microstocker
August 19, 2009
User archive
-In every situation of life, you immediately start keywording in your head.
“So nice to meet you, Mr. Jones! man, male, Caucasian, person, bald, smile, businessman…
Who was that? Oh? Your new secretary? hottie, blonde, fake boobs, bitch
Oh, wow! I like your new car! automobile, chrome, transporta… I’d have to clone out that logo … shiny, highway
-Instead of telling the doctor your sick child has been looking pale, you say “her white balance is a little off.”
-When you find your dog outside barking at a rattlesnake, your first action is to grab your camera (never mind how I know this)
-You turn up your nose at the Mona Lisa because she isn’t a vector
-You find Van Gogh to be a trifle noisy for your taste
-You didn’t notice when intermission ended at the school play because you were outside taking closeups of the building to add to your grunge section
-While everyone around you is admiring the beauty of sunlight on the water, all you see are blown highlights.
-A squirrel is stealing from your birdfeeder, but do you get mad? No! You go out there and say, "Smile at the camera you little rat-bastard."
-If you forget your camera, you make everybody turn around and go back home to get it
-Scratch that, you NEVER forget your camera.
If any of the above has happened to you, yes you are a Microstocker photographer, illustrator, nutcase, fanatic
Photo credits: Ponytail1414.
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59 Comments
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PublishPonytail1414
Oh my gosh, Jspring! i can't believe I'm in Russia. Thank you for telling me!
Jjspring
Hello Leslie! I live in Moscow in Russia and I saw one of your pictures (Cranky Old Lady Looking Suspicious) at the advertisement just few days ago :))) It was a family cafe advertisement.
Ponytail1414
HAHA Karen! Yep you've got it all right.
Karenkh
Funny!
I'm beginning to resemble some of those remarks. I think it must be contagious, catching, endemic, transmissible, transmittable...
:0)
Karen
Ponytail1414
Yes, Mark, join the club.
Mhryciw
Ok... I admit... I might be called a nutjob photographer at times. Maybe I do chase butterflies, bunnies and talk to little birds. I may analyze the daily weather using the terms vibrance, balance and saturation. I have said to my wife a couple times..." Just one more shot, the light wasn't quite right on that one "... Sometimes it takes awhile for the light to change!...
Ponytail1414
Thank you, Bramble!
Bramble100
Yeah, very good! I find myself to think on every friend as a model, and every voyage as a stock photo assignment :)) I sometimes even calculate how many photos I have to have accepted to cover the expenses of the travelling :))
Ponytail1414
Thanks, Cathy!
Cathysbelleimage
You crack me up! Thanks for the smile this morning... ;O)
Ponytail1414
Thanks, Michael! Thank you for laughing at me haha
Ponytail1414
I've been moving and haven't checked in lately! Thank you, Denise and Saniphoto!
Diver721
That was very interestingly funny and I like it. Great blog!! You made me laugh out loud LOL :)
Denisebeverly
haha i resemble some of these
Conceptualcreations
Why is it so quite here? Did the squirrel die?
Ponytail1414
OH thank you George and Creaativei, I am so honored because your images are so great. George, so creative! Great work, guys
Georgeskyrillos
The funniest blog ever!
Creativei
After a long time I had a good laugh reading something on the net, but yeah its true....... And nice pf, I liked the birds images.
Ponytail1414
HAHA Marilyn! Same for me. I love love love your jumping spiders
Marilyngould
Hello Leslie! Thanks for such a good laugh, when packing for a trip I used to wonder how many pairs of shoes I could pack. Now, forget the heels! It is all about how many lenses I can carry. Moreover, no longer is Nordstrom my store of choice but man can I do damage to a credit card in the local camera store. Cheers Marilyn
Ponytail1414
Thanks, Mihaela! I never see the performance either haha. Only through the viewfinder. Your pictures are beautiful.
Catarii
Very funny article, thanks for sharing.
I remember I've been with a friend to a play and I took pictures. In the end he said: "Wonderful performance. What do you think?" My answer was: "Well, I'll see at home" and I showed him my camera. ;)
Later Edit: as an admin, when I'm on the street with friends and I imagine pictures I only see: copyrights, no Model Releases, maybe this would be ok for Editorial and so on...
Ponytail1414
Iris, thanks for making my day. That's high praise indeed coming from you. Thanks, fellow card-lady.
Irisangel
Hi Leslie, I just had to leave another comment after checking your website. I read all your cards and they all made me laugh. Great stuff!!!
Ponytail1414
Thanks, Marilyn! I hope I can have as much success as you have. Great images.
Marilynv
Hi Leslie,
Very funny blog, thanks for the laugh! So true. I really can relate to the taking grunge photos during intermission! LOL.
Besides your clever writing, you're also a very great photographer and illustrator as well. Have fun, it sounds like you do.
Best regards,
Marilynv
Ponytail1414
Oh HAHAHA Martin! And I thought I was bad for leaving my dog alone with a snake haha. Mossel I really feel for you! I hope this setback won't interfere with the new portrait efforts.
Mossel
Thanks Leslie. You are very kind to me. No, I took the shot you referred to two months ago just before a wave splash over me and over the first D5 II have lost.
Best of luck for this weeks shoots and uploads.
Mossel
Martinedegraaf
Just have to add one from this afternoon:
If you want to rescue your kid from falling in a pond and you quickly change arms because using your left arm will definetly look better composition-wise... then you're sure your WIFE is a microstocker :DDD
I just LOVE my husband...;)
Luissantos84
what a big laugh! thank you :)