How to Tell if You're a Microstocker

-In every situation of life, you immediately start keywording in your head.

“So nice to meet you, Mr. Jones! man, male, Caucasian, person, bald, smile, businessman…

Who was that? Oh? Your new secretary? hottie, blonde, fake boobs, bitch

Oh, wow! I like your new car! automobile, chrome, transporta… I’d have to clone out that logo … shiny, highway

-Instead of telling the doctor your sick child has been looking pale, you say “her white balance is a little off.”

-When you find your dog outside barking at a rattlesnake, your first action is to grab your camera (never mind how I know this)

-You turn up your nose at the Mona Lisa because she isn’t a vector

-You find Van Gogh to be a trifle noisy for your taste

-You didn’t notice when intermission ended at the school play because you were outside taking closeups of the building to add to your grunge section

-While everyone around you is admiring the beauty of sunlight on the water, all you see are blown highlights.

-A squirrel is stealing from your birdfeeder, but do you get mad? No! You go out there and say, "Smile at the camera you little rat-bastard."

-If you forget your camera, you make everybody turn around and go back home to get it

-Scratch that, you NEVER forget your camera.

If any of the above has happened to you, yes you are a Microstocker photographer, illustrator, nutcase, fanatic

Photo credits: Ponytail1414.

Your article must be written in English



Oh my gosh, Jspring! i can't believe I'm in Russia. Thank you for telling me!


Hello Leslie! I live in Moscow in Russia and I saw one of your pictures (Cranky Old Lady Looking Suspicious) at the advertisement just few days ago :))) It was a family cafe advertisement.


HAHA Karen! Yep you've got it all right.



I'm beginning to resemble some of those remarks. I think it must be contagious, catching, endemic, transmissible, transmittable...




Yes, Mark, join the club.


Ok... I admit... I might be called a nutjob photographer at times. Maybe I do chase butterflies, bunnies and talk to little birds. I may analyze the daily weather using the terms vibrance, balance and saturation. I have said to my wife a couple times..." Just one more shot, the light wasn't quite right on that one "... Sometimes it takes awhile for the light to change!...


Thank you, Bramble!


Yeah, very good! I find myself to think on every friend as a model, and every voyage as a stock photo assignment :)) I sometimes even calculate how many photos I have to have accepted to cover the expenses of the travelling :))


Thanks, Cathy!


You crack me up! Thanks for the smile this morning... ;O)


Thanks, Michael! Thank you for laughing at me haha


I've been moving and haven't checked in lately! Thank you, Denise and Saniphoto!


That was very interestingly funny and I like it. Great blog!! You made me laugh out loud LOL :)


haha i resemble some of these


Why is it so quite here? Did the squirrel die?


OH thank you George and Creaativei, I am so honored because your images are so great. George, so creative! Great work, guys


The funniest blog ever!


After a long time I had a good laugh reading something on the net, but yeah its true....... And nice pf, I liked the birds images.


HAHA Marilyn! Same for me. I love love love your jumping spiders


Hello Leslie! Thanks for such a good laugh, when packing for a trip I used to wonder how many pairs of shoes I could pack. Now, forget the heels! It is all about how many lenses I can carry. Moreover, no longer is Nordstrom my store of choice but man can I do damage to a credit card in the local camera store. Cheers Marilyn


Thanks, Mihaela! I never see the performance either haha. Only through the viewfinder. Your pictures are beautiful.


Very funny article, thanks for sharing.
I remember I've been with a friend to a play and I took pictures. In the end he said: "Wonderful performance. What do you think?" My answer was: "Well, I'll see at home" and I showed him my camera. ;)

Later Edit: as an admin, when I'm on the street with friends and I imagine pictures I only see: copyrights, no Model Releases, maybe this would be ok for Editorial and so on...


Iris, thanks for making my day. That's high praise indeed coming from you. Thanks, fellow card-lady.


Hi Leslie, I just had to leave another comment after checking your website. I read all your cards and they all made me laugh. Great stuff!!!


Thanks, Marilyn! I hope I can have as much success as you have. Great images.


Hi Leslie,

Very funny blog, thanks for the laugh! So true. I really can relate to the taking grunge photos during intermission! LOL.
Besides your clever writing, you're also a very great photographer and illustrator as well. Have fun, it sounds like you do.

Best regards,


Oh HAHAHA Martin! And I thought I was bad for leaving my dog alone with a snake haha. Mossel I really feel for you! I hope this setback won't interfere with the new portrait efforts.


Thanks Leslie. You are very kind to me. No, I took the shot you referred to two months ago just before a wave splash over me and over the first D5 II have lost.

Best of luck for this weeks shoots and uploads.



Just have to add one from this afternoon:
If you want to rescue your kid from falling in a pond and you quickly change arms because using your left arm will definetly look better composition-wise... then you're sure your WIFE is a microstocker :DDD

I just LOVE my husband...;) 


what a big laugh! thank you :)

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