Today my heart is heavy.
Today I don't even want to think about my camera, let alone pick it up.
Today I want to cave in on myself and sink into the abyss of misery that comes with heartache.
But I won't.
I will walk past the photographs sitting in my living room taken at a long ago party and various get-togethers. He always wore a smile that could melt butter or make you wonder what he was up to.
I will stop as it catches my eye, pick it up, and when the questions begin to well up inside my heart I will set it down, turn and go get my camera, load up the kids and go to the lake to see what beauty awaits us.
I will remember that day before he died. Those were the best photos I had taken at that point in my life.
I will remember promises of the month prior to the accident of getting our kids together to play.
I will remember that last beer we drank and I will wish that time could have stood still.
I will not regret. But I will remember with laughter, and thank God every day for the time we had, even if for a short while.
My memories are my photographs, my heart is the album. And in each one he is smiling.
Rest in peace, friend, rest well.