THE PHOTOGRAPHER

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...'

'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'

'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good.. Did you know babies are my specialty?'

© Anatols ( Help)

'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped.. Please come in and have a seat !.

After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'

'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'

'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'

'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'

'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.

'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'

'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.

'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.'

'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.

'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look'

© 5xinc ( Help)

'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'

'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.'

'Tripod?'

'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'

Mrs. Smith fainted

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Publish
November 10, 2013

Celiaak

So so funny!

August 30, 2012

Grafoo

Really so funny! :D :D :D

August 24, 2012

Dmccale

LMAO

August 08, 2012

Grafvision

Excellent! thanks for sharing...:)

August 06, 2012

Diver721

That was great! Thanks for sharing :)

August 05, 2012

Egomezta

Great joke, thanks for sharing.

August 04, 2012

Sanshams

Ha, ha!!! Very funny thanks.

August 03, 2012

Chimeandsense

You just have to smile at this, very good

August 03, 2012

Veryolive

Thanks for few minutes of loud free laugh! :D:D:D Excellent blog!

August 03, 2012

Razvanxr

:)))) Great story!!!

August 02, 2012

Maddrew

Priceless!!!

August 02, 2012

Mani33

LOL

August 01, 2012

Jeniicorv8

hahahahahahahahahahaha!

August 01, 2012

IndigoRising

Love it, very funny.

August 01, 2012

Inyrdreams

a good joke! I enjoyed! especially good with your added photos.. thanks!

August 01, 2012

Littlemacproductions

:D :D :D

July 31, 2012

Adeliepenguin

It felt so good to laugh so hard. Thanks for sharing.

July 31, 2012

Hanbaoluan

Very interesting!

July 31, 2012

Elifranssens

Do I need to be over 18 to enter this site??? Nobody told me... anyway, I am, so hahahahahaha....

July 31, 2012

Vcarmstrong

Hahahahaha! Awesome!

July 31, 2012

Peanutroaster

So good! Excellent!

July 31, 2012

Racheld32

HAHA!! That is hilarious!

July 31, 2012

Karenfoleyphotography

Hilarious !! Well done, K-

July 31, 2012

Clearvista

Ha ha brilliant-well done - big smile here :)

July 31, 2012

FabioConcetta

Very funny blog,well done ^_^

July 30, 2012

Lagron49

A joke for the ages. Equally funny for film or digital users or abusers...I laughed so hard I nearly brought on an asthma attack.

July 30, 2012

Psmpics

By far the most refreshingly original blog I've read here! Well done.

July 30, 2012

Kphotos6411

ha, ha. You have a delightful sense of humor.

July 30, 2012

Androniques

LOL, When is the next episode to be released? :)

July 30, 2012

Solidsdman

Very funny

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