Of course you're a beautiful, beautiful person worthy of several oil paintings (and maybe even a statue), but if you could only be illustrated by a bog-standard stock photo destined for inclusion in a thoroughly unimaginative website/brochure about an allegedly successful business, which one would you be?

To find out which clichéd stock photo you most resemble, simple answer the following questions as honestly/accurately as you can.

Your last job interview ended with the words...

When can you start?
Welcome to the team!
We still have other people to interview.
You want HOW much?
Stand up and turn around.
Stand up, turn around, and leave.

You totally nailed that PowerPoint presentation. How do you sign off?

You ask 'Any questions?' (and know there won't be)
You pose for photos.
You perform an encore, then pose for group photos.
You leap in the air and shout 'Yes!'
You high-five and/or fist-bump everybody in the room.
You shout "I'm the king of the world!"
You shout "Don't clap; throw money!"

Can I get you a tea and/or coffee? Which mug is yours?

The plain white ceramic mug with a clever slogan on the side.
The china mug with the gold leaf and the platinum trim.
We all share mugs here. Use anything.
Mine's the one that says "World's Greatest Salesman"
Mine's the one that says "World's Greatest Boss"
Mine's the one that says "World's Greatest Lover"
Nothing for me, thanks. I'm high on life.

Aliens have finally been in touch, and we've been invited to join the Galactic Federation. What should be the main image on Earth's flag?

A picture of Earth.
A human hand punching the sky. We rock!
A human hand reaching out to touch an alien appendage*.
A big 'S' with a vertical line through it.
A rocket thrusting up into the sky.
A group shot of the entire UN.
A group shot of the entire human race.
A photo of the reigning Miss Universe.
(*No, like a hand. I don't know what you were thinking. And I probably don't want to.)

What's your favourite Michael Jackson song?

Black Or White
I'll Be There
Earth Song
We Are The World
Smooth Criminal
All of the Thriller album. Except for 'The Girl is Mine', obviously.

A woman collapses in front of you. She has stopped breathing, and you cannot detect a heartbeat. What do you do?

Say "It's OK. I have my own phone. I will call for an ambulance."
Say "It's OK. I have my own defibrillator. CLEAR!"
Say "It's OK. I have my own ambulance. MEDIC!"
Hold her hand until help arrives.
Tell her to stop malingering.
Tell her she's dropped from the team.
Tell her to take a number. There are 7 billion other people wanting your attention.

What have you been doing to combat climate change?

Planting trees.
Hugging trees.
I work in a paperless office.
We steal our paper from another office.
We recycle our paper..
We recycle paper, glass, plastic bottles and cans.
I've been making do with the same executive car parking space for 3 years now..

You find a thermonuclear device at a yard sale and decided to blackmail world leaders with it. What are your demands?

World Peace
World Domination
I'm not sure. Let me get back to you. Please hold.
Free health care for me and my henchmen.
Free health care for everyone in the whole world.
One MILLION dollars!
One BILLION dollars!